Friday Funnies 20 March 2009

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donw Posted: Fri, Mar 20 2009 8:33 AM

Points to Ponder

 

1. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

 

2. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

 

3. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

4. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

 

5. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

 

6. Why is a boxing ring square?

 

7. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

 

8. Why is it that doctors call what they do practice?

 

9. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

 

10. Why is it that to stop a Windows Operating System, you have to click on "Start"?

 

11. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address,

you turn down the volume on the radio?

 

12. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

 

13. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

 

14. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

 

15. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

 

16. Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

 

17. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

 

18. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

 

19. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Don

"O Diem Praeclarum!"Big Smile

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Simi_Papa replied on Fri, Mar 20 2009 1:12 PM

George Carlin used to do this and it always cracks me up.  Thanks don.

Bill

"May the Force be with you!"

Diagnosed in 1997; Off all meds except Metformin!! Smile

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Short-Jan replied on Fri, Mar 20 2009 10:26 PM

Thanks Don. Very funny. I recognized myself with #11.

Jan

type 1 dx. 1955

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shortie replied on Fri, Mar 27 2009 6:06 AM

I liked Friday's Funnies too!  Number 11 is because we need to concentrate to find an address and radio pulls our mind away----that is why I have the radio on now! haha

We do not need a driver's license to buy liquor here, just proof of age if you look young.  And our NYS governor is trying to put wine in grocery stores......in a state known for its numerous vineyards and wine production---ain't it funny that it is not already!  Florida--where I just left--- has it in their stores and have very few vineyards!  Like your Friday Funny's it just shows life is funny......( isn't that an old TV show?)

Have a great stressless satisfying hopeful normal glucose weekend!

Shortie

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Spirit replied on Fri, Mar 27 2009 10:26 AM

Now that I think of it, I DO open my mouth when I put on mascara!  Hmmmmmmmm.

Another great start to the weekend with your Friday Funnies, Don.  Thanks so much.

Spirit

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Dee replied on Fri, Mar 27 2009 2:47 PM

Okay....I put my mascara on today without opening my mouth.  It can be done!!!  Dee

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Spirit replied on Fri, Mar 27 2009 4:18 PM

Dee:  You've given me hope!  Next time I wear mascara, I'll try to keep my mouth closed.  "Course, it may end up on my eyebrows, but I'll take the plunge!Sleep

Spirit

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