Discouraged

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bethanyjb14 Posted: Wed, Aug 24 2011 5:29 PM

I'm new to this site, but I just turned 18, and was diagnosed at 8. My life with diabetes has been pretty rough, and has had it's ups and downs. Whos doesn't, though? But now more than ever, I just want to give up. I want to be just like my friends, who don't have to care. Last night I went shopping with two of my friends. We went to a borders, and since it's closing, they have those really good & fancy chocolette on sale. We all bought a few, but I  obviously was going to save them for later and eat one at a better time. Of course they both had theirs in the car. It's little situations like this where I just want to cry. I know that sounds silly, but it's the truth. I can't go anywhere without completely thinking ahead. My friends don't understand. I just got back from a missions trip, which was a huge step of faith and independence in my diabetes for me. While I was there all I heard was "oh my gosh, doesn't that hurt?" "wait, you can't have this, it has sugar in it" "how can you *** yourself?". I am one of the only people in my friends group that isn't moving into a dorm for college. I didn't think I was ready with all the medical stuff. And it hurts now watching everyone more than it did thinking about it.

I guess I am just venting. But I'm at the point where I don't even care anymore. I've got two fractures in my back, and intersticial cystitis, and I just can't handle it. Anyone have any suggestions (other than "if you don't handle this your going to die") that can help me get motivated?

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Simi_Papa replied on Wed, Aug 24 2011 7:07 PM

One of my room mates in college had Crohn's  disease, the severe version of this disease.  By the time I met him in college he had already gone through 2 surgeries to remove parts of his bowel and had to wear a colostomy bag.  Can you imagine how he felt being a teenager and wearing a colostomy bag.  He every right to be depressed, emberassed, ashamed, withdrawn, but he wasn't.  He was the bravest person I had ever met.  My minor health problems (bad knees and bad back) seemed insignificant beside what he was going through.  The point is that there is always someone out there worse off than you are, look at what Stephan Hawking has done despite his physical limitations.  Don't be ashamed of your diabetes, you didn't cause yourself to be diabetic.  Go live in a dorm (it's a great part of the college experience), tell your room mates you are diabetic, don't hide it.  Get a pump if you don't want to take shots in public, but don't be ashamed or emberassed to take you insulin shot in public.  There are lots of diabetics out there now and many of them take shots in public areas.  Be an advocate for your disease and try to help others cope.  Your other post on suggestions for students was excellent.  You can do this.  We have people on this board who have more than 50 years as type 1 diabetics.  They were diabetics before blood test meters or insulin pens or insulin pumps and they have made their years a badge of honor.  Don't give up.  All life is worth fighting for even when things look really bleak.  Please keep posting!

Bill

"May the Force be with you!"

Diagnosed in 1997; Off all meds except Metformin!! Smile

www.nvhealthy.com

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I know there are a lot of people who have it worse off then me. But unfortunetly that doesn't make myself feel better, it just makes me feel worse. But thanks. I would go live in a dorm, but I'm in the middle of being tested for an unknown disease that is eating away my bladder, so I need to be close to home and flexible for these appointments. Also, even though it's not the same, I know what it's like to be in high school using a catheter. I know that there are so many people who are dying from cancer, and people with MS who can't walk - but thinking that way makes me feel worse simply because I can't change the way that I'm feeling right now.

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Simi_Papa replied on Wed, Aug 24 2011 10:43 PM

There is no doubt that you have it tough.  I hope you can overcome your health challenges and get to enjoy your college experience.  You indicated that you are very religious, maybe one of your religious leaders can help you get through this.  We're rooting for you!

Bill

"May the Force be with you!"

Diagnosed in 1997; Off all meds except Metformin!! Smile

www.nvhealthy.com

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Managing diabetes can be very difficult. It sounds like you may be burned out from having diabetes. Diabetes burn-out can occur when diabetes management tasks feel overwhelming and it feels like diabetes is controlling your life. Diabetes burn-out is a very common problem for individuals with diabetes. There is a link on the Joslin website with more information about diabetes burnout:

http://www.joslin.org/info/avoid_diabetes_burnout.html

There is also a good book on diabetes burnout by William Polonsky.  Here is a link with more information on the book Diabetes Burnout:

http://behavioraldiabetesinstitute.org/resources-diabetes-information-publications.html

I am also wondering if you have told your diabetes health care team how you are feeling?  Maybe they would have some ideas as to how they can help you.  For example, maybe they can teach you how to cover snacks with insulin so that you can eat when your friends are eating.  Some individuals with diabetes also find it helpful to meet with a mental health professional that understands diabetes to talk about diabetes specific stressors. Good luck!  I am glad you are reaching out for help.

-Debbie Butler, LICSW, CDE

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Nicole replied on Sun, Aug 5 2012 3:38 PM

Dear Bethany,

My name is Eva and I am 14 years old and i have been diagnosed at age 12. I understand what you mean. Sometimes I want to give up but I dont. I hate seeing people eating cake at parties and drinking as much soda with out having to take a shot or *** their finger. I am constantly worrying about having high or lows. Dont give up on yourself. When your friends are eating cake try a low carb sweet yogurt (like carb master) You just gotta keep your head held high. You seem like a tough girl and i know you can do it. Its not easy i know, when i had DKA the first time i went blind for about 4 hours and now i have eye problems. If you believe in yourself and keep telling your self "I CAN do this, I WILL make it through!!" all things will work out

 

Your friend,

Eva Nicole

 

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I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. But, I can tell you that it's very normal...especially for someone your age.

Dealing with diabetes is more like a marathon than a sprint. If you think of it like that, then you'll see that you need strategies to deal with various situations that will suit your best interests...staying healthy, or as healthy as possible.

I have a little confession...I am a total chocoholic. I love it. I could eat chocolate every day and never tire of it. But, I don't eat milk chocolate (blick...very sweet!) I prefer dark chocolate. In small amounts, it has almost 0 effect on my bg levels. That is my strategy for dealing with my love of chocolate....only dark please!

Some things aren't as rosy as this outcome, but if there is a will there is a way.

Hang tight....I've been doing this much longer tha you and have had many moments just like you are having now.

 

Lisa, type I, dx 1978 (hi everyone, it's been a while!)

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